An article about parenting.....nice one

Mary Chelladurai, July 6, 2013, DHNS:

SHOWPIECE BAROMETER

“Displaying” their offsprings as superkids is rather peculiar to Indian parents, muses Mary Chelladurai

A proud mother with her nose high in the air, pronounces “95.4%!” to all and sundry around her and commands her daughter to open her mouth (“Ah!”) and is just about to stuff a laddoo into her mouth. Just then another father hops in, snatches that laddoo and pronounces “95.5%!” and commands his son to open his mouth (“Ah!”). Yet another haughty mother joins the club, seizes the laddoo, declares “96%!” and finally stuffs the by-now-very-tired-laddoo into her son’s mouth.

Well if you are wondering what this is, it’s a commercial, that airs on our Indian television, for an online tutorial agency. A mad ad, to be more precise. But hats off to the impeccable imitation of the modern day Indian parental scenario!

The urge to 'display' their offsprings is typically peculiar to Indian parents. Earlier, it was as simple as a rendition of the classic 'twinkle, twinkle little star' at a social gathering. Now it's posting a compendium of photographs of everything from just-born to the first piano recital at school. India children have the highest display value and 'performing' kids are always a source of pride for their parents. Guess we should be grateful that we haven’t yet put price tags on our kids.

In our country, it has got nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with their parents. Parents constantly need to feel one up the other, and make their children the vessels that carry their pride. They exhibit their children to the world, making show-pieces of their living, moving, and thinking children. Do they see their children as free individuals wanting to grow in their own space? Or do they only believe them to be pots of unmolded clay and they as potters take it upon themselves to shape them in whatever way it pleases their own ego?

Let the show begin!

Start with the silver lining clouds of hospitals. The show well begins from here. The to-be mother proudly boasts of the pricey hospital she has booked herself in. The hospitals that “specialize” in delivering babies boast of “motherhood care”, and a single glance at their bank balance is enough to show that it works for them; they know the public’s mindset. They even give an aiding nurse to help you with babycare for the first ten days, and the whopping bill for all this can feed hundreds of hungry young children! 

Downright exhibitionism

There is pomp in the display of everything, right down to the “best diapers” used for the baby. The “modern” parents these days believe that the most expensive diapers will keep the baby comfortable. But the truth is far from it. It is a known fact, atleast among the older generations, that cloth nappies are more comfortable and cause lesser rashes than diapers. Despite being warned of this, the new-age parents stick to the pricey diapers nevertheless. What else is this, if not another form of parental flauntism?   

Pseudo-elevation

If there is one set of people who can make you feel incapable or incomplete, better than the advertisers do with their products, it is Indian parents! It is not uncommon to see parents fussing over their children for admission into some international school. An international school, where the child shall be taught French and German instead of our Indian regional languages. But pray that the child gets through the admission, lest (s)he “bring shame to the parents” by not being “good enough”. “Good enough” for what? For learning a fancy foreign language? Or for the admission? Or maybe the parents’ ego?
Selfless parents. Really?

“I do so much for you, son. And all you can manage is a B-grade!” Now, what part of this is selfless? Indian parents often try to induce guilt in their children by saying they do a lot for kids and only expect good grades in return. What are they saying! That should the grades be bad, then their children won’t get their due love from parents? That they should score good grades to please their parents who “do so much” for them? Children are only just beginning to see the world, and their parents are already burdening them with “you-owe-your-parents-atleast-get-good-grades” responsibility! What makes them think that the child is old enough to take on this kind of pressure?

Parenting or coaching?

Parents may, many a times, feel inadequate with their parenting role. But how many of them take some time off to relook at their parenting style? Are they truly parenting? Or are they merely being the tough coach? While being the tough coach is essential, there is a dire need to remember that they are parents first. The child sees them as much, and expects a kind and approachable parent; not someone who will yell and bring down the house for not getting good enough grades! Are our Indian parents assuming they are “doing it all for the child’s good”? Reality check. The kid doesn’t even know why or how to “feel shame” for being second; it’s only the parents’ own ego at stake and they are teaching the kid to feel low about it! 
   
Toddlers or gizmo-nuzzlers?

“You know I picked up this iPod for my daughter; does your little one know to use this? Of course, even as young as a year she started playing with this! Actually it is said that smart kids pick up things very quickly.”

Yes, and this mother doesn’t seem to know that her toddler might also be picking up eyesight problem very quickly.

“I’m sending my son for horse-riding classes. He can be a polo player some day! Isn’t that just great?”

Yes, and this fancy-pants lady doesn’t seem to be aware that her son might not even like a horse, let alone ride it, or be a polo player!

Ask these parents and they will vow by the commercial that blares “Tayyari jeet ki (Preparation for success)”. Assuming that their kids do not know what they are interested seems to be the norm for these parents! Their kids are empty vessels waiting to be filled with some exotic dish their parents fancy...

The “Gen-Y and Gen-Z” parents are so determined to have their children succeed in any and every platform possible, that they are forgetting that their kids are individuals with thinking and emotional capacity. They have unfortunately turned children into a barometer of parental success in the world. It’s high time parents look into themselves and understand that while bringing up children might be their responsibility, children are nevertheless separate individual human beings who have their own say in this world. Of course, it is natural to want your child to be successful and happy; just think twice before pushing over your own idea of success and happiness to them. Don’t try to build your kids a jetpack; just nudge them to use their own wings.

Useful article

Green fountain of youth

Swathi T S, July 5, 2013, DHNS:

There was a time when gardening meant growing beautiful flowering plants in your house. But now due to the increasing prices and to save our environment people are growing eatables in their gardens. “Grow food not lawns” is the new mantra. One such eatable you can grow with least monitoring is Centella asiatica.
Commonly known as Brahmi booti in Hindi, Mandukapani in Sanskrit and Ondelaga in Kannada it is a small, annual plant of the family Mackinlayaceae. It is native to India, Sri Lanka and other parts of Asia. The stems are slender, creeping stolons, green to reddish-green in colour, connecting plants to each other. It has long-stalked, green leaves. The flowers are pinkish to red umbels seen near the surface of the soil.

Medicinal value
Centella, commonly found as a weed in crop fields and other waste places throughout India is used as a medicinal herb. It is mildly antibacterial, antiviral and anti inflammatory. Centella asiatica may be useful in the treatment of anxiety. Several scientific reports have documented Centella asiatica’s ability to aid wound healing. In Sri Lanka it is believed to prolong life, as the leaves are commonly eaten by elephants. In China, it is used for treatment of depression, longevity and hence it is called the “fountain of youth”.

In India it is used in many recipes such as sambar, salad and juices.
The shovel shaped leaves are dried and powdered and stored to use when needed. It is believed that one spoon of Centella powder a day will increase the memory of children.

Centella is an easy growing plant which requires least attention, but should be watered daily. As the Centella is a ground hugging plant it can be grown easily in place of lawns that are spread across the ground.

Most Useful

Herbs to vanquish mosquitoes

Rashmi Shrinivas, July 5, 2013, DHNS:

HOME GARDENS

Apart from applying mosquito repellents on our bodies or spraying insect killers in the room, try growing herbs in your house that repel mosquitoes, advises Rashmi Shrinivas
Reports of Chikungunya and Dengue resurfacing in Bangalore and Mysore are disturbing a bit. Though we can take precautions such as not allowing water to stagnate in the under plates of the pots, discarded containers etc., thereby checking the growth of mosquitoes, the threat of mosquito bite that may often result in the epidemics referred above always persists.

We can protect ourselves from mosquito bites by using mosquito curtains while sleeping, applying mosquito repellents (available in the market) on our body or spraying insect killers in the room etc. It is not uncommon to find mosquitoes bred elsewhere taking shelter under the leaves of your garden, though your surroundings might be hygienic enough not to allow them to breed.

There is still another way to keep mosquitoes at bay. A number of plants, especially herbs, repel mosquitoes and your garden or home can thus be free of mosquitoes if you grow them. These plants are, in a way, a boon to us since they are easy to grow as well.

Lemon grass, commonly known as Majjige hullu is well known for its medicinal properties of releasing throat congestion when used in a concoction. What is little known to many of us is the fact that this plant also keeps away mosquitoes, besides being used in the perfumery industry and in aromatherapy. Belonging to the family Poaceae, it is botanically known as Cymbopogon. It is a big grass reaching a height of about 3 ft in city conditions. It can easily be grown in containers as well. Its sharp leaf blade when crushed on hand gives out a characteristic smell of its own which is disliked by mosquitoes. Hence the leaves are used in the preparation of mosquito repellents.

It grows in any kind of organically rich, well drained soil and grows into a bush. Its fibrous roots do not grow too deep. It can easily be propagated by dividing the bush into small plants of manageable size. Like any other city based garden enthusiast, I too faced a space constraint and hence this plant had occupied the narrow gardening strip by the side of my building and adjacent to the compound. Yet it grew luxuriantly, perhaps because my neighbouring site was vacant then and my plants got lot of sunlight.

Garlic, a close cousin of onion, is another mosquito repelling plant one should have in his/her garden. Belonging to the family Amaryllidaceae ( Amaryllis family), it is botanically known as Allium sativum. Bellulli is the Kannada name of this plant and in Sanskrit it is known as Lasuna. It has been in use in traditional Indian medicine in India since ancient times. Used also in cuisine, it is easy to grow even in pots. It grows in any kind of well drained soil. One clove of garlic is enough to raise a plant.

Since mosquitoes hate the smell of the garlic, they do not come anywhere in the vicinity. In fact, I had grown as many as 10 plants in different pots along with the main plants on the terrace of my previous residence. Believe me, my mosquito problem was considerably low at that time.

Marigold, commonly known as Chendu hoovu/Gonde hoovu in Kannada, is yet another easy to grow plant that can act as mosquito repellent, in addition to bearing attractive flowers that are offered to God as well. Mosquitoes hate the smell of marigold and thus your garden is protected from them by this plant. Botanically known as Tagetes, it belongs to the family Asteraceae or Compositae (Sun flower family). In fact, marigold is quite easy to propagate.

Interestingly, what is generally thought to be a flower is technically an inflorescence consisting of many flowers. Hence you can raise a number of plants from one flower. You can separate the seedlings when they are of manageable size. However, it is advisable to use a big pot for this plant since its roots are voluminous and take too much of space. It does not need any maintenance and hence convenient for those facing time constraint.

Then comes our own Tulsi or Basil (Occi­mum), traditionally grown in front of all Hindu houses. Though there are quite a few varieties, Shreetulsi (green coloured) and Krishnatulsi (bluish green coloured) are the most common ones in India. Religious importance apart, its crushed leaves are also used for treating insect bites. This plant is also known to keep mosquitoes at bay.

Though a number of other plants like Vetiver (Lavancha in Kannada), Eucalyptus (Nilgiri in Kannada) etc., are supposed to keep mosquitoes away, considering the large space required for these plants to grow and the limited space available to the city based garden enthusiasts, you can be content with any of the other plants discussed above and enjoy a mosquito free zone created by you in and around your residence, thereby protecting yourselves and your families from the deadly diseases caused by mosquito bites.